Look, we're never gonna contest a $20 bottomless setup with bottles of champagne and mixers on the side. But at Union Pub, drinking champagne's actually the healthy, sanitary choice -- it helps you avoid the water, and any drink made with it. It's not every brunch your waiter proactively warns you against the coffee, and then comps you a cup just to prove the point. We'll try to keep our score to the mimosas, but like the good drink-reviewing samaritans we are, we have to leave this PSA.

You can't go to Union Pub and expect anything less than, well, pub food. You might get lost in the math trying to determine whether to customize your own array of classic brunch sides instead of ordering a main dish, but if you're hungover and/or a college student you can't go wrong with the decently consumable comfort food options.

Speaking of college students, perhaps it was our fault for choosing to dine at Union Pub despite not being ones. The wait staff is friendly and caring (see their sparing us dirty dishwater grade coffee), but definitely operates at a consistent level of chill. You might have more success dining inside close to the bar, but at the expense of a pleasant DC patio experience on Capitol Hill.

Whether you're inside the bar or hanging on the patio, Union Pub manages to keep ambiance consistent, with chairs in various stages of disrepair and cups that you assume were destroyed in a game of flip cup and feature the occasional lipstick stain. Hosting everyone from parents watching football with babies on laps to an entire sorority popping champagne across a long table to, well, us, it's a microcosm of the state of our union.