Despite the $29 bottomless price, you're limited to orange and cranberry options, but fortunately the mimosas are light on the juice, and Pearl Dive's even willing to get creative, ceding to our compatriot's request to add bitters (feel free to judge).

If you go for brunch, don't go for the brunch options -- the classic breakfast dishes were major disappointments, unless you're a child whose favorite part of a meal is the buttered bread. But don't sleep on the sides, with seafood specials and tasty seasoned fries making up the unique part of the offerings.

Our transition from a scenic patio sadly beset with a broken fan on a classic 100-degree D.C. summer day to an indoor diner-style booth gave us the opportunity to befriend many a server, and refills came quickly and slightly past the 90-minute limit. But the true GOAT is the poor soul who shushed us -- apologetically, but clearly on orders to tell this brunch crew to simmer down. We don't fault him, but it was a first.

Pearl Dive takes the ocean theme to heart with mermaid and whale decor, framing a family-friendly brunch experience. We can only assume it was the presence of small children that led to our shushing, because having frequented Pearl Dive for happy hour, we can report the brunch vibe is decidedly lower-key, and sadly not a fit for bottomless fun.